your name is in the stars
by lovbot15
Summary: '. . . I have breathed You into the cosmos so many times' / Takashi Shirogane is a man who belongs to the stars, but Adam has always hoped he could match them in Takashi's eyes one day. [ADASHI & S7 SPOILERS]


_a/n: incase you avoid spoilers, this work contains spoilers for s7e1 which premiered at sdcc and also a huge reveal about shiro, so don't read if you want to stay spoiler free!_

 _y'all i'm literally still in shock. shiro voltron is_ confirmed gay _. i am over the moon! and i know adam only had like a minute's worth of content in the leaked episode, but i love him already and if anything happened to him, i would kill everyone in this room and then myself._

 _i've worked nonstop on this for the past three days, so here you go, it totalled fifteen pages on docs by the time i was done ahahaha. the wonders of not sleeping at night to write amirite_

 _also btw i've been hcing adam to be arab muslim. it's not really important to the story, but if you want to know how i came up with his last name, well know you know :^) (it's also pronounced with a heavy h sound if you wanna know!)_

 _#no proofreading we die like men (if you catch any errors, let me know!)_

 _i hope you enjoy!_

* * *

 _ ***YOUR NAME IS IN THE STARS (I HAVE BREATHED YOU INTO THE COSMOS SO MANY TIMES)***_

* * *

Adam Hamada doesn't really know when he started paying attention to Takashi Shirogane. Like, really _really_ paying attention. Just knows that once he started, he couldn't stop.

Maybe it's the magnetic charm of the other fifteen year old's bright smile, immediately drawing in anybody with a heart within a two mile radius and making him impossible to ignore. Maybe it's the shining gleam in his eyes when he rambles on about different constellations, pointing them out to him as they lay on the roof of the Garrison, talking in hushed whispers.

Whatever it is, Adam is utterly, totally enraptured.

Right now, the two of them are on the roof, a favorite retreat for their wanderings out of the dormitories and classrooms of the Garrison. They usually come out with their other friends, like Cal Rivera or Ruby and Reese Leung. But right now, it's just the two of them, studying for their big test tomorrow, and Adam quietly savors the moment.

"Capture;" Takashi reads aloud, balancing his textbook on his knee, "of a star, planet, or other celestial body which brings a less massive body permanently within its gravitational influence."

"Kinda like me 'n you, eh, Takashi?" Adam laughs.

Takashi's brows furrow, but he plays along. "Yeah? What do you mean?"

"Well you know the only reason I'm tagging along is to learn all of your secrets." teases Adam. "Just couldn't stand you always getting the top score on the simulator."

Takashi rolls his eyes, but there's little malice behind the teasing glint in them. "Please, we all know you're the one making records."

"And you're the one breaking all of them!" exclaims Adam.

Takashi guffaws, and Adam joins in too.

"Hey." Adam says suddenly, "but seriously, I've always got your back. Always and forever."

The other boy grins. "Yeah?"

"Yeah." Adam hums softly, and Takashi nods, eyes focused on the sky above them, lips tugged into a small smile.

Takashi Shirogane is a boy who belongs to the stars, and Adam finds that he really couldn't mind less.

-o-O-o-

Takashi gets chosen to pilot Sam Holt and his crew into space for the first time when he is exactly 19 years and 7 months old. Adam knows this because Takashi had said has entire life had been ticking down to this one moment. He is excited for the other man, but so very worried.

Apparently, Takashi hadn't even been the first choice, but the other pilot was on leave for some reason that Adam can't remember. Takashi had practically begged Captain Holt to let him go on the mission, using his high scores and broken records to validate his case. Eventually, Iverson had caved in

It's not even that far, just a run to Mars so the new pilot doesn't get too overwhelmed. Takashi pouts when Iverson says this, but Adam knows how ecstatic he is to finally be out in space and he himself is, quite frankly, relieved that the distance is going to so short. Takashi's muscles have been acting up lately, tensing up painfully in the middle of nothing, and Adam won't ever admit it, but he is scared.

He later jokes about it in the comfortable quiet of their dormitory to relieve some of the tension he's feeling. "Maybe the Martians will give you a better haircut than that awful fade."

Takashi leans his head over the side of the couch he's lounging on and shoots him a grin. He hasn't cut his hair in a while, and Adam has the strongest urge to brush away the tufts that fall in Takashi's eyes with his fingers. "You know you love it."

Adam does have to admit the style on him is endearing, but this was Takashi he was talking about. He could probably make anything look good.

Two weeks later, Adam is standing next to Takashi at the official launch ceremony while Iverson gives a short speech for formality and whatnot. Pride makes Adam's heart expand like a balloon when he sees the shining officer medal that Iverson had pinned onto Takashi's flight suit, but there's also the scalding fear that burns through his veins and makes him tense up.

 _This boy is going to be the death of me one day_ , Adam thinks.

Iverson finishes his speech and there is a short round of applause while the press snap photos and yell for answers to their questions.

Takashi turns to him, expression a little sheepish. "Well, I guess this is it. Want me to bring you a space rock?"

Adam laughs, and he prays that Takashi won't detect how it sounds a little watery. "Sure. Just don't replace me with a stupid little green Martian."

Takashi's eyes soften and Adam is hit with the memory of the fifteen year old kid who used to look at stars the same way he's looking at Adam right now. "I would never. You're my best friend, always and forever."

His throat closes up, and he pulls him into a hug. Takashi is a tall man, but Adam will never not marvel at how Takashi will always bend down and place his forehead in the crook of his neck, as if almost instinctively.

"Listen, I'm so proud of you for making it here, to your dream." murmurs Adam. "You know I'd always follow you into anything and anywhere, just like I always have. But honestly, maybe you need to take in the glory of this all by yourself."

Takashi laughs softly and mumbles something that gets muffled out. Adam pulls away to get a good look at him and grips his arms.

"Don't do anything stupid." he tells him.

"I will try my best." Takashi promises solemnly. Then, hesitantly, he gives him a cheeky upturn of lips. "But just in case. . . how about a kiss for luck?"

 _Ah_.

And suddenly, it's like he can see him for the first time. The way the afternoon sun's rays soften his edges with molten gold, the nervous biting of his lips, and above all, the way his eyes shine brighter than anything Adam has ever seen. He doesn't know how, but somehow he manages to reply, "Come back safe. Then we'll see."

Takashi is dumbfounded, then he breaks out into a genuine laugh. Iverson calls out harshly for final preparations, and Takashi squeezes his arm as a final goodbye, before jogging to catch up with rest of the crew.

When Takashi is about fifteen feet away, Adam calls out, "Hey, fly boy!"

He stops and turns around, puzzlement tailoring the features of his face.

"Good luck!" he shouts, shooting him a thumbs up.

Takashi grins and presses two fingers to his eyebrow, lifting them in a salute and winking, before darting to catch up to the crew when Iverson shrieks his name.

Adam giggles. The giddy feeling isn't enough the drown out the worry, but for now, it's enough.

-o-O-o-

Adam doesn't know how he manages it, but he survives two months without Takashi Shirogane. It all passes by in a blur, his only point of focus being Takashi's return date circled in thick, red marker on the calendar taped next to his bed.

Unlike the official launch ceremony, the return of the Callisto crew is hardly a spectacle that draws the masses' attention. Just some family and friends and some press, waiting in a lounge for an official to tell them that the crew has arrived.

Adam taps at the windowsill, bored out of his mind. He sees some family members holding flowers and briefly wonders if he should have gotten some. Then, he feels silly and decides not to ponder on the mechanics of gift giving.

An hour passes by, and Adam grows restless and heaves a heavy sigh. He goes out into the hallway to get a drink from the water fountain. Somebody taps him, and he whirls around.

"Oh my god." Adam breathes, and something in his chest lifts as he sees who it is. "You're here."

Takashi smiles softly, and the overwhelming relief that courses through him is almost dizzying. "I'm here."

Adam pulls him into a hug, and Takashi, surprised, goes to hug him back. Less than a few seconds later, Adam pulls back suddenly.

Then, just as quickly as he pulls away, he grips Takashi's face and kisses him.

It's not even a kiss, more like a touch of lips over a couple of seconds, which, Adam thinks, probably qualifies as a kiss, but he's too flustered to think of the logicalities of it all as he pulls away in a panic, so screw it.

"Uhm." is all Takashi says when Adam pulls back, a dazed look on his face and smile a little dopey, and Adam suddenly feels a giddy wave rising up in him.

"Well, I did promise you a kiss if you did get back safely." replies Adam with all the cheekiness of a fifteen year old.

"Oh my god." laughs Takashi. He leans back in to kiss him again, and Adam honestly has no idea what he's doing and their teeth click at one point, but he doesn't care.

Adam pulls away to breathe properly. "I've been waiting to do that since I was fifteen years old."

Takashi just grins, and Adam thinks the sun couldn't even match the brilliance of it. "Oh, me too. Me too." Then, almost as an afterthought, he adds, "We have so much in common. Wanna talk about it over dinner?"

Adam huffs, but his face is hurting from smiling so much, because of course Takashi would use the stupidest and cheesiest line in the book with him. He settles instead for placing his hand on Takashi's cheek and leans in to steal another kiss from him. Takashi places a hand over his to keep it in place, and Adam thinks he has never felt fuller.

Somebody wolf whistles, and Cal Rivera's voice rings out in the empty hallway. "Damn, Shirogane and Hamada finally got together! Took you two long enough!"

Adam considers flipping him off, but Takashi solves it before he can do anything, yelling lightheartedly, "Screw off, Rivera!"

Cal laughs, bright and loud, and his leaving footsteps are drowned out in his shouted call of "Congrats!", and Adam has to bite the inside of his cheek to keep from smiling more.

Something occurs to Adam. "Shouldn't you be with the other crew and checking in?"

"Probably." responds Takashi. "But I've got something just as important right here."

And, well.

Nobody could ever say Takashi Shirogane wasn't a charmer.

-o-O-o-

Later on that night, when Takashi is snoring soundly in their room, Adam heads out on outside, to the grassy patch.

"Takashi Shirogane kissed me today!" he yells to the universe, because he absolutely cannot keep this himself. The stars twinkle back in reply, and Adam feels content.

-o-O-o-

Takashi starts bringing home a kid when they are both 22. His name is Keith, he is 14, and is he is the definition of a baby emo if he's ever seen one.

Adam loves the little dork so very much.

It becomes a sort of tradition for Keith to hang out at Adam's and Takashi's place after his classes let out, and Adam usually helps him with his homework or watch anime while they wait for Takashi to come back from his unofficial pilot duties. It's kind of cute how the kid basically hero-worships Takashi, Adam thinks.

Today is not any different, and yet it is. Adam is helping Keith with some of his astrophysics homework, the both of them occasionally sipping from the fancy glasses they have at hand's reach.

Keith takes and holds his fancy glass so very carefully and squints at it. "Are you sure we can't just use the regular glasses? This seems a little too extra."

"Special occasions call for special glasses." Adam reminds him, taking his glass from him and placing it on the table. "Now show me what how you figured out the sixth problem."

Just right then, the sounds of Takashi unlocking the door reach them, and Adam and Keith both brighten up visibly as he enters the apartment.

"Takashi!" calls Adam. He holds out his glass, and the red liquid sloshes dangerously. "Drinks? We're celebrating!"

Takashi's forehead wrinkles in confusion. "I thought you don't drink?"

"He doesn't. It's Kool-aid." Keith informs him, and Adam shoves his shoulder lightly. He just sticks his cherry-red colored tongue out at him, the little shit. "And Adam made buttered noodles."

"Oh, well in that case, I'll have a glass. And some noodles, if you don't mind." Takashi says goodnaturedly. He pulls up another chair to sit with them at the table. "What's the special occasion?"

Adam looks at Keith pointedly, but he just looks at the ground, a little flushed. Adam smiles and turns back to face Takashi. "Keith here just beat your record in the flight simulator! Shirogane is no longer on the scoreboard!"

Takashi's jaw actually drops, and Adam has to stifle his laughter. "Keith? Oh my god!"

Keith shuffles his feet nervously. "It's not a big deal."

Takashi laughs, bright and loud, reaching over the table so he can ruffle Keith's hair affectionately. Keith ducks away, but Adam has to smile at the hints of a grin appearing on the kid's face. "Are you kidding me? I'm so proud of you. Nobody has been able to beat that record in six years!"

"It's true," says Adam, "I've been trying ever since. Never could beat it."

"Well, that's no surprise." Keith retorts and Adam gives a sharp, "Hey!"

Takashi and Keith laugh, and Adam thinks he could bask forever in the warm glow of this atmosphere.

-o-O-o-

Later, Keith returns to the Garrison as night settles, and Adam and Takashi finish up some chores.

Takashi is folding some clothes and Adam walks over and wraps his gangly arms around his waist, nestling his chin in the place between his shoulder and neck. "Hey."

Takashi hums contentedly, before taking a jacket out of the stack and shaking his head mirthfully. "I can't believe how much of Keith's clothes always end up in our laundry. I swear, it's like having a kid of our own."

Adam laughs. "You should ground him."

"Nah," says Takashi, already expertly folding the tiny jacket. "It's nice that he's trusting us enough to leave his stuff over. Kid has come a long way."

There's a comfortable silence that follows, and Adam watches as he folds all of Keith's clothes in a separate pile.

"Do you ever think about that?" Adam blurts out. "Having kids one day?"

Takashi tilts his head slightly. "Keith is already a hit of a handful, isn't he?"

"So a dog then."

"A dog?"

"We're totally gonna get married one day and get it a cute little puppy."

"You're saying that like we aren't already engaged to be wedded," he says, flashing his ring finger with the simple gold band playfully. "And the puppy's name is totally going to be Bow-Wow."

"Bow-Wow?" Now it's Adam's turn to be amused. "Takashi, you big dork."

Takashi turns his head to press a kiss on the crown of Adam's head, lips quirking up in the smallest of smiles. "Only for you."

-o-O-o-

After he's finished tidying up the place, Adam goes out onto the veranda to water the little succulent plants he collects, smiling as he remembers his and Takashi's earlier conversation.

"Bow-Wow." Adam says. He smiles, maybe a little too goofily, but he doesn't care. And then, he places his elbows on the railing and rests his chin on his palms and freaking _sighs_ , like he's one of those lovestruck girls on that Sailor Moon anime Keith is always watching. "What a cutie."

-o-O-o-

Takashi is 23 when he comes home from his mission in space, chest bandaged tightly and taken to the hospital straight away. Just like last time. And the time before.

Adam is numb to everything else as he rushes to the hospital and breaks into an unconscious Takashi's room. "Too much strain on his muscles." The masked doctors tell him. "His body can't hold out for much longer."

Adam asks for a number. They say only a few more years at most.

When they leave, he takes up a vigil, pulling up a chair and taking Takashi's fist into his own, squeezing it like it might jumpstart awake. There is a constant stream of nonono running through his mind and Adam desperately scrounges up any of the prayers he can remember his mother reciting when he was a child, desperately praying and hoping and praying, please please please not him oh god not him, like his faith alone will keep Takashi anchored to the world.

Adam finally feels a small squeeze of his hand and looks up to see Takashi's eyes fluttering open. "Adam . . .?"

"Oh god." Adam's voice sounds wrangled, but the ice in his veins recedes a bit, and he leans over and places a kiss on his forehead. "Takashi."

"S'okay." Takashi mumbles. "I'm here."

"No it's not." Adam admits shakily. "I-I hate seeing you like this. You said this mission was going to be better."

"Unforeseen troubles." says Shiro, and Adam drops his head.

"That's what you said last time." Alex can't keep the desperation out of his voice, the fear that's practically bleeding into it. "And the time before that. How many times are there going to be unforeseen troubles? How many times am I going to have to watch you balance on the verge of . . ."

"Adam," Takashi tries to say, but he cuts him off.

"No." Adam continues. "I hate this. I can't stand by and watch the man I love slip away from me, slowly, piece by piece. Everytime you leave, I get so scared that you'll never come back. I'm so proud of all you've done for the Garrison, and I love that you're selfless and noble, but I hate seeing it come at the cost of your health." he stops shakily, squeezing Takashi's hand. "You're declining, Takashi. I don't want the end to come faster than it could."

"I'm sorry." Takashi says quietly. "For making you worry."

Adam groans. "Don't apologize. I love you so much, Takashi, I do. I just want you to be safe. It would kill me if something ever happened to you."

"I love you too." he whispers. "And you won't lose me. But this is my dream."

Adam sighs and just brings their joined fists up and kisses Takashi's hands.

-o-O-o-

Takashi is 25 when Adam loses him.

The funny thing is, it's not space or sickened muscles that tears them apart, like Adam had envisioned in his nightmares. No, this time, the blame lies all on him.

When Takashi shows up from his meeting with Admiral Sanda and falls back on the couch defeatedly, Adam asks cautiously, "Is everything alright?"

Takashi starts talking about how Admiral Sanda had come in to stop Sam from taking him on the crew.

"Maybe he's right." he says. _Please don't do this!_ his brain screams. "Maybe you shouldn't be going on the mission. You're only putting yourself at risk."

Takashi turned towards him. "You know how important this is to me," he said, hurt abundantly clear in his voice. "It's worth the risk."

Adam's heart aches. _I can't watch you slip away from me for good!_ He puts his teacup down, and some of it sloshes it out, burning his skin. He pays it no mind. "Takashi. How important am I to you?"

 _Please stay. Please stay. Why do you want this so badly?_

Takashi never answers his question, and something breaks in his chest. And Adam, who has been there every step of the way since day one, who can't imagine a life without Takashi Shirogane, Adam is the one to take a step back.

"I know I can't stop you. But I won't go through this again." _It would kill me. Don't you see how much you mean to me?_ "So if you decide to go, don't expect me to be here when you're back."

And with that, he stands up and leaves.

Takashi's lack of answer burns more than the red patch of skin from where his tea splashed. He knows he did the right thing, but everything screams in his head that _this is wrong what are you doing make him stay_.

Adam doesn't drink, but he considers it if only to get rid of the burning questions in his mind.

-o-O-o-

There's a message on his receiver when Adam returns home from work the next day. He listens to it once, then promptly shuts it off the second it's finished. He doesn't delete it, even though he rationalizes that that would be the healthy thing to do. But there's always something that stops him when his finger is hovering right ober over the delete button.

Adam finishes up some chores, before retiring to the living room. He can't deny how subdued everything had gotten, the apartment devoid of its usual laughter and comfortable buzz.

He sighs once, before burying his face in his hands. He would get through this. He _would_.

-o-O-o-

The Aegle crew sets off for Kerberos three days later on July 23, 2053. The news channels have been obsessed with the story, calling it a 'moment for the history books'. Everytime Adam turns on the television, the pictures of the crew are plastered on the screen while the reporter talks about the limits that are being pushed with this mission.

Takashi had been confirmed as the crew's resident pilot. Adam doesn't know what he expected.

He doesn't show up for the official launch, feeling sick at the very thought of Takashi entering space and perhaps not coming home. Nevertheless, his apartment is close enough to the Garrison that he sees the streak of bright light in the sky and he murmurs a quiet prayer and hopes it reaches them.

"I always knew that Takashi would always belong to you." he tells the stars later that night. "But I thought maybe I could compare to the stars one day in his eyes."

The stars don't reply, and his heart is heavy.

-o-O-o-

It's been eight months since the Aegle set off for Kerberos. Adam had heard that the crew had landed and were starting their sample gatherings. Relief levers the heavy weight in his chest for just a bit, and he wonders if he even has the right to feel that way anymore.

Sometimes, he wonders if he should have tried harder to get him to stay.

It's eight months and four days when Iverson starts being more of a hardass than usual. The operation center is in full fledged chaos when Adam walks by on his way to the commissary. A bad feeling pools in his stomach, and he tries his best to ignore it.

It's eight months and six days when Iverson breaks the news to the other teachers and pilots at the Garrison. The Kerberos crew is missing, currently believed to be dead. Pilot error seems to be the cause.

Adam can hardly breathe.

Somehow, he manages to miraculously make it through teaching his first class, because Iverson, ass that he is, decided to break the news right before classes. When the buzzer rings and the last student shuffles out, Adam goes over to his desk. He falls back on his chair and takes his glasses off, rubbing his forehead wearily. He leans back in the chair precariously, just like how he and Takashi used to do in their high school days.

Adam exhales once. His next breath comes out choked and shaky, and the next one after that. The next one after that makes his chest hurt so much, a tear slips out of the corner of his eyes.

Adam leans the chair forward abruptly, and the loud clack somewhat brings him back to Earth. He slowly lets his head drop on his desk, relishing in the cool surface that helps soothe the agony burning through his veins and skin and _everything_.

 _I should have made him stay. he thinks. Why couldn't have I made him stay?_

And there, in the empty classroom of A-23, the Adam Hamada sobs quietly, his shoulders shaking and his cries muffled by his desk and arms.

-o-O-o-

It's eight months and ten days when Adam steps out onto the veranda of his apartment. The Garrison had suspended classes for the day in honor of the fallen crew members. Adam stays home the entire day, slowly packing the remainder of whatever Takashi had left behind that he hadn't thrown out. When night falls, he pads out to the veranda barefoot and places his arms on the railing. He stares listlessly at the constellations that sparkle in the darkness, dimly remembering how Takashi used to map them out on Adam's hands when they were stuck waiting somewhere.

"I told you so." he starts out, breaking the silence of the night, and immediately feels guilty. "Fuck, sorry, why would I say that? I'm. . ." Adam trails off and thinks that talking to Takashi has never been this hard.

"Keith is so angry." He tries again. "It honestly breaks my heart even more than it already has, seeing him these days. I tried taking him home today to stay the night, but the Garrison wouldn't let me."

He sighs. "He thinks there's a chance the Garrison's lying. I don't know what to do. I know you're missing, but I can't believe that you're still out there, alive. I can't rely on that false hope, only to have my heart broken again. You were always the optimist out of us two."

Adam looks to the stars, the ones Takashi had loved so much. "If you're out there, come home safe. Please. I never should have let you go. Takashi, -" he breaks off, feeling the ball of heat in his throat and the telltale wetness of his eyes. His chest shudders as he muffles his sobs with his hands. After a couple of moments, he composes himself, taking deep breaths and wiping his eyes with bottom of his palm. "Just come home. If you can. I love you." he whispers.

-o-O-o-

It's eight months and twenty five days when the Garrison commences the funeral for the Kerberos crew. Adam feels hollow and stiff; a hurricane could come raging through and destroy everything, and he would still probably be glued down to this spot on the cement, unmoving.

There's a couple of eulogies, some speeches. Since there are no bodies to bury, the Garrison has shrouds covering empty caskets.

He watches as Iverson hands a folded shroud to a woman sitting in the front row. With a start, he realizes it must be Sam Holt's wife. Though Adam had never been that close to Sam and his son, Matt, he still feels the pain of their absence as well. Adam sees a little girl sitting next to her, couldn't be any more than thirteen. She looks angrily at anything but the shroud and her tiny fists are clenched so tightly. He thinks thirteen year old girls shouldn't have to suffer the pain of lost fathers and brothers and he aches.

Adam's heart cracks a little bit more when he sees the furious devastation on Keith's face. He tries placing a hand on Keith's shoulder, but Keith shrugs it off, looking dejected and sullen and ferocious.

It stings.

-o-O-o-

It's been one month and two days since the news of the Kerberos crew going missing.

"Takashi, Keith was expelled today." says Adam. "He punched Iverson. Iverson deserved it, but it was the last straw."

He runs a hand through his hair, making it messier than usual. He's practically using the railing of the balcony as support from the sheer tiredness he's feeling, and there are probably dark crescents rimming his eyes. He finds that he really doesn't care.

"I tried intervening on his behalf, but Iverson wouldn't even consider it. Why can't I make anyone stay?"

-o-O-o-

It's been two months and seventeen days.

"A girl broke into the Garrison today." Adam mumbles to the stars. "Didn't catch most of it, and Iverson clammed up about the whole incident. But I did hear her when the guards were dragging her out. Apparently there's no footage of any crash. She thinks that should be proof of your guy's aliveness."

Adam swallows. "I really want to believe, but it would hurt too much if. . ." he trails off, before deciding to pick up on a more surprising note. "Oh, and Takashi, you'll never guess the best part. You know who it was that broke in?"

Adam pauses, as if expectantly waiting for an answer, before remembering he wasn't going to get one. "It was Katie Holt! The good ol' captain's daughter! Can you believe it?"

-o-O-o-

It's been four months and twenty-six days.

"Takashi, there's a new kid in my first period class. Maybe I'm just becoming nostalgic, but I could have sworn that it was freaking Matt Holt sitting in the back, not a Pidge Gunderson." Adam takes off his glasses and squints. "Or maybe I just need new glasses."

-o-O-o-

It's been nine months and eleven days.

"Honestly, I hope there's an afterlife because there's no one more deserving of heaven than you. I hope you're piloting and living daringly to your heart's content, and that you're never out of stock of buttered noodles." Adam laughs wetly and sighs. "I miss you, Takashi. More than you'll ever know."

-o-O-o-

It's been one year and thirty-one days.

"Takashi, three students were reported missing today. Remember that Matt Holt look alike in my first period? Guess he's following in his doppleganger's footsteps." Adam rubs his face tiredly, more than aware of the fact that he need sleep desperately. Still, it feels like his news is urgent enough to report.

"His entire simulation team is missing too. The pilot's mother was a wreck when Cal phoned her . . . And as if that wasn't enough, last night something extraterrestrial entered the atmosphere. The Garrison went to answer it last night. I should have been there too, but I went home early. Anyways, whatever it was, Iverson's being a real jackass about it and not telling anyone who wasn't there. Says it's too sensitive for public ears and eyes yet and they need more info for confirmation or whatever." Adam rolls his eyes.

"What's more, this morning Iverson claims to have seen a big blue lion robot prancing around the desert this morning. Reese Leung was up there too with Iverson and backed up his claim, but I think the old man's finally lost his marbles. I think they chalked it up to exhaustion and desert mirages later on." Adam sighs. "Funny thing is, I know you would've gotten a kick out of that story."

He smiles a little sadly.

-o-O-o-

It's been two years.

"I wish we could've gotten a more approximate date for your passing." mutters Adam. "Then we could have had a proper memorial. But this will have to do I guess. I made buttered noodles, but then it got kind of depressing. I also went to see your mom. Nice old lady. We had a heart-to-heart that wasn't so bad."

Adam sighs. He does that a lot now days, he notices. He goes back inside, but not without casting a wistful glance to the moon. "Miss you, Takashi."

-o-O-o-

It's been two years, eleven months and ten days.

Adam goes onto the veranda like he's been coming for the past almost three years. It's become an almost weekly tradition, except this time, there is no iron strings pulling his spirits down.

He sits on the floor, back to railing, and leans his head, eyes fluttering close.

"Takashi," he breathes, and for the first in a long time, he feels something like hope blossom in his chest. Adam bites back a smile.

"Captain Holt returned back to Earth today. In an alien pod." continues Adam. "After the initial Garrison inspection, he told us tales of . . . Voltrod? Voltron? Doesn't matter, because he brought the news of your survival. And those three teens that disappeared two years ago. And Keith! Oh god, I miss that dork so much. I miss you so much."

"Captain told us all about the defense we need to take against the Galra. It's gonna be a busy couple of months. But also, he told us tales of the paladins. Of your heroics. Honestly Takashi, I can't believe you're still putting yourself in danger. You better be taking care of yourself. I don't see the point of an advanced alien castle ship that doesn't help with your muscles, but I really hope it does for your sake. You deserve to do so much more, because you've always been noble and kind. I'm so proud of you Takashi. And so worried sick."

"Just hold on, okay? I want to see you again so badly. When you get back, I think I'm gonna kiss your face off."

Sentimental things like these are more of Takashi's thing anyways, but as he stands back up to go inside, Adam thinks it wouldn't hurt when he blows a kiss to the moon. "For luck." he whispers. "Stay safe. I love you."

-o-O-o-

It's been three years, two months, and eighteen days when the first purple cruiser is seen descending through Earth's atmosphere. Adam doesn't even blink when Iverson gives the order on the intercom for all fighter pilots to report to their stations.

Earth has been preparing for this war for the past few months. Alarms are blaring, flashing red, instilling panic, but Adam feels a strange sense of calm wash over him. After months of waiting it feels good to finally experience what they're up again.

A weird perspective, definitely, but it keeps him focused and peaceful as he straps himself into a plane and tugs on his helmet, and later on as he zooms into the sky in formation with the other fighters.

"I really hope you're still fighting on the other frontier, Takashi." he mumbles.

And when the first shots come from the cruiser, Adam fires back with the others, diving and racing and elevating.

 _If I can make it_ , he thinks, _so can Takashi_. The very thought keeps him fighting.

-o-O-o-

It's been three years, two months and twenty nine days.

Earth is not doing so well.

Adam has been in the tiny little fighter plane every single day for two weeks. Each day is a hard won battle, and the next day is always bringing a new challenge, deadlier, smarter, and faster. Already, cities have been captured around the world, as hostages to use against the paladins. The only reason the Garrison is still standing is because they have been preparing for a very, very long time, even before Captain Holt brough the warning.

He is exhausted. He doesn't known if there's a word for beyond beyond exhausted, but if there is, he is that. What he wouldn't do for one free night. Adam thanks the heavens for energy drinks and the fact that the Garrison still has a steady coffee supply somehow.

Of course, the new technology and blueprints that Captain Holt had brought with him really boosted their chances of survival, but it was still barely holding up against the incoming Galra fleets. And of course, when it came to down to actual battle, nothing could compare to the absolute majesty of Voltron.

Adam thinks that the color scheme is a little clashy at first, but, as most 50 feet tall mechanical magic giant things do, it strikes awe into his chest. The first time he sees its face rising through the clouds and swirling mists, he knows it's a sight he'll never forget.

And of course, as most 50 feet tall mechanical magic giant things do, it completely owns and dominates the battle. The fleet is destroyed within minutes thanks to the combined effort of Voltron and the Garrison. Adam actually considers sobbing out of relief.

But in the end, it's not lack of sleep that gets him, nor the Galra. No, his greatest ruin, _his greatest love_ , has always been one single man, one man who was coming out of the Black Lion of Voltron right now and was currently congratulating his team. Adam shakes as he climbs out of his jet and almost falls to his knees from the shock of it all, because even with Captain Holt's insistence that he had been alive, some part of him still hadn't believed, still can't believe it.

Cal Rivera comes out from the jet next to him, and his eyes widen as takes in the state Adam is in right now. He rushes over and grabs his shoulders to steady him as Adam still stares in shock.

"Woah, woah, easy there tiger." he jokes. "Wouldn't want you hurting yourself right after that awesome victory now, would we?"

Adam finally shakes off the shock from his system, but he can't tear his gaze from the man in the distance. Cal follows his gaze and if possible, his eyes go even wider. By now Ruby and Reese Leung have come over from their own planes just in time for them to hear Cal do a sharp whistle. "Are you guys seeing this?" he exclaims, "That's our boy! Takashi!"

Reese breaks out into questions immediately and Ruby gasps. Turning to Adam, she asks, "What are you going to do, Adam?"

Cal, still clasping both his shoulders, turns his head and waggles his eyebrows. "Yeah, what're you gonna do, loverboy?"

With his friends questioning eyes turned to him, he answers after a moment, "Hug the crap out of him?"

Reese sighs disappointedly. "Shiro did not just come back from the presumed dead and spend two years fighting in space just for you to go over there and just hug him."

". . . Maybe kiss his face off too." Adam admits, smiling a bit as he remembers his earlier conversation with the stars.

His friends erupt into supportive cheers, pushing Adam in the direction of him. "Go get him, tiger!" Cal calls out.

Adam's heart feels like it might burst out of his own chest from how fast it's beating as he walks towards him. He hadn't noticed Adam yet, still engrossed in a conversation with his team. Adam hears his voice and he falters in his footsteps five feet away, too overwhelmed. It's Keith who looks up, eyes widening and jaw dropping. Adam takes in a moment to fully take in Keith, who has a huge scar on his left cheek and is taller and bigger. He finds himself aching for the scrawny little fourteen year old who loved Sailor Moon and intense bike rides. That's when he notices Keith nudging him, eyes darting back to Adam so that he turns around and -

 _Oh_.

It's like Adam is taking him in all for the first time. His hair is a shock of bright white and he's missing an arm and he's taller and more defined. His face is gaunt and there are scars covering most of his exposed skin and yet, when Adam slowly crosses the last few steps and cups his cheek with his hand, thumb slowly caressing under his eyes, he is so so relieved to find that his eyes still shine like living stars, that even after it all, he is still, overwhelmingly, completely, _wonderfully_ -

"Takashi." Adam says. Out of the corner of his eye, he sees Keith nudging the others in a different direction, but his attention is focused solely on him.

And then Takashi, voice breaking and face crumpling into pure, joyous relief, whispers, "Adam."

It's been three years, two months, and twenty nine days, and Adam finally releases the breath he feels like he's been holding all this time.

He grabs Takashi and holds him like he'll never let go. And Takashi, even though he's grown, still finds a way to curl his head into the crook of his neck, just like he used to, and just like that, Adam starts crying.

Adam pulls away and kisses him and Takashi kiss him back and you couldn't really call it a kiss because it was two enormous smiles basically connecting. Adam throws the technicalities aside and then he kisses his temple and then brings his forehead to connect with Takashi's, bringing his own hands to cradle his face.

And it's like Adam has been stripped down to the bare basics. This is Adam who has been in love with him since he was fifteen and knew what it felt like to have butterflies in your stomach, who has teased and laughed and cared with him, who has lost countless nights worrying and thinking about his future, who has only ever been sure of this forever, undying emotion. Call it a capture, because Adam has always been stuck in his orbit since day one, and he wouldn't have had it any other way.

"You're back." he sobs. "You're here."

"I'm here." Takashi agrees, and he thinks that Takashi is crying as well.

"I'm so sorry, all those things I said before." Adam says through tears, and the words seem like they can't come out fast enough. "I waited. I never would have left you behind. I love you. I love you so much. More than you ever will know."

Takashi laughs, his throat congested with tears and his face is streaked with water and Adam can not, will not stop crying and smiling. "I love you too." Takashi says, steady and sure like ever, just like he's always been. His hand comes up to hold Adam's hand in place, his grip warm as ever. "Hey, hey, it's okay. You are everything, Adam Hamada. I missed you so, so, so much."

The sun is setting, and the horizon is awash in bubblegum pinks and violet blues and the earliest stars are coming out to twinkle. Adam feels lightheaded and dizzy, and yet, he's never been more grounded in his entire life. He thinks his chest isn't large enough for how big his heart is growing. He laughs and kisses Takashi again, and another time for good measure.

He thinks to the stars, with a growing peace, _You brought him home_. _You brought him_ home.

-o-O-o-

 _Phone Log - 7/20/53_

 _1 VOICEMAIL from TAKASHI SHIROGANE_

 _(_ _PLAY MESSAGE_ _) - delete message - call back_

" _Hey Adam. I know you probably don't want to hear this now, but . . . just in case._

 _I know you've put up with so much over these past few years, and I honestly cannot express the love and gratitude I have for you for that. And I know how you hate seeing me put it all on the line. But . . . this is my last chance to do something great. Something I've always dreamed about_

 _Space? That feeling you get when you're flying amongst the stars and ever expanding galaxies?_

 _It's a beautiful thing._

 _But so is - was this relationship. I love you, and no amount of distance will ever change that. All I've ever wanted for you was for you to be happy._

 _And . . . And I'm sorry it couldn't be with me. God, I wish we had that option._

 _If something does happen in this mission, you get to hold it over my head for the rest of time. I just -_

 _. . ._

 _I love you, Adam. Always and forever."_

 _END OF MESSAGE_

* * *

 _#let shiro and adam get a dog named bow-wow 2k18_

 _i like to think that keith was a big sailor moon fan when he was growing up and adam had little succulent plants lol. i also think that he, adam, and shiro had a good familial relationship before shiro was presumed dead._

 _i tried adding in some symbolic poetic stuff along with some parallels, but i feel like they didn't turn out that well rip_

 _oh! before i forget, the scene where keith goes, 'he doesn't drink. it's kool-aid' was inspired by my little sister! lov u ayra :3 also, the scene where shiro asks for a good luck kiss and adam goes 'come back safe, then we'll see' was inspired by a percy jackson book aksjdalsd. riordan is hell at writing but there are SOME parts that are just mwah._

 _reviews honestly make my whole day, even if it's a smiley face! constructive criticism is greatly appreciated as well!_

 _come talk to me about adam and shiro and s7 on tumblr!_


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